Love One Another: Loving Yourself

Jesus gave a new command to his disciples the night before he was crucified. I can imagine how emotionally charged the night would have been: he just showed the disciples how to serve each other by washing their feet, then Judas is filled with satan and leaves to betray Jesus. Then, we are back to Jesus says, “Love one another,” and “I am leaving guys and you can’t come . . . yet,” all in the same breath.  

My question is, “How do we love one another?”

Earlier, Jesus gave the greatest commandment: Love God with everything & Love your neighbor as YOURSELF. You must love yourself? How is this different than selfishness? This is a struggle for most of us. What is loving myself if it is not being a bit selfish sometimes? 

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8) 

Loving yourself is different because God gives us his pure love. When we are of the world our love for ourself becomes obsession.  We get addicted to loving ourself and loving ourselves becomes at another’s expense (especially our loved one’s). This is why Christ gave the command to love another so many times: to eliminate selfishness. Other places he tells us to deny ourselves. How can we both love and deny ourselves? Generally, we know how to love ourselves right? The problem is not loving others.

I’m not sure if their is a difference between Christ’s time and now when it comes to this command, but sometimes the reason we cannot love one another is because we have no idea how to love ourselves. Maybe it is a form of selfishness, but it looks different. 

These are the people who get angry at themselves easily. These are the people who cannot find motivation to make a meal for themselves when there is no one to eat it with. And further, they want to get out and exercise, but why does it matter? There is not much purpose in their lives unless they are busy. Yes, busybodies. These people need to find themselves doing something in order to have purpose. 

This has been me. At home in evenings, not wanting to eat, get out, or anything. Movies are no good. TV fails me. No patience to read. 

What do I find at the end of the day? Hate. Hate, not only for myself but, for my loved ones as well. I end up mistreating the ones I love. I don’t want to, but when I hate myself it becomes automatic to hate whoever is around me. It comes out as being short and usually not joyous. Why? Because I hate myself. 

The Result: Not obeying Christ. His command is to love my neighbor as myself, but I hate myself. The good news is that I realize my worthlessness. This is good. But where is the part when I discover the LIFE that Christ gives in my worthlessness? Yes! I have worth because he gives me life! Christ, show me this worth that I may love myself that I may love others. 

I am not alone in this. There are many many others. We need to come to a place in our christian walks where we can say, “YES I AM WORTH IT IN CHRIST!” In fact, there is a time where we need to declare it! This does not take away from God, but on the contrary, it gives glory to God. Christ died to take our sin. He died to take our worthlessness and hopelessness to give worth and hope. He ascribes it to us. He implants worth into our depravity. When others SEE how God has changed our lives and given us life, then we have lived out our purpose. Then, we can give an account for the hope that is in us (1 Peter 3:15). 

The result then is that we can love one another. We can then obey Christ’s command, the greatest command, the most repeated command I see in scripture. We need to love one another. Jesus, in the midst of betrayal and right before going to the cross, gave this command: Love one another. 

My life, and I am wondering if this is your life as well, is saying, “Sorry God, I can’t even love myself, I have no love for others. In fact, I hate myself, I am not worthy!”

In great care and in his most loving, fatherly instinct God says this: “You are worth it! I gave you worth! Was my son on the cross not enough for you? Did he die in vain?”

Let’s wake up. Let’s get out of self hate and self pity and say Yes, I am worth making this sandwich. I am worth the exercise, I am worth, rest, I am worth my job, I have worth because of Christ. Then we will love one another. Maybe it will still not be automatic, but at least we will have a great start. So how do we love one another? Love yourself with Christ’s pure love for love comes from God (1 John 4:7). Jesus says this: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love”(John 15:9). Remain in his love and you will love others.